I'm a little sad again today. I seem to have a case of tiny niggling doubts in the back of my mind. It's funny though - it's not the whole guy thing that's annoying me. I still feel it doesn't matter - its the little things which go along with it that are picking away at me. Little things like the awkwardness of arriving to find your friend sitting at the same table as him, and not being able to decide if it would be less awkward for everyone for me to sit down, or go talk to my friend behind the bar instead.
Otherwise the little niggling things are totally unrelated. There are just rather too many of them to ignore them all, as much as my head is desperately trying. I don't know what's up with me. I'm having a serious case of mood swings this last month.
Anyway, I wrote a poem when I was feeling happier yesterday, so here it is, in an attempt to cheer me up and make me realise that past events don't matter anymore.
SPRING
A gentle breeze blows
Tickling awake the drooping snowdrops,
And shaking the last remnants of winter from the trees.
There is birdsong,
For the first time in months,
Waking up the city
As the silvery light of the sun
Shines through the last of the frost on the windows.
Somewhere, a hungry crow caws
While a flock of gulls fight
Over a half-eaten bacon roll
Down below.
Crocuses struggle their way open
In the space that the light touches,
Pushing their way against the last tug
Of the cold remainder of winter.
On the trees,
the first blossoms have sprung forth.
The world is being reborn from the cold of winter,
And it's time for me to join it,
To shake off the cobwebs of seasons passed,
And face the world anew.
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