Feeling Sad

For some reason, I woke up today, and just couldnt get out of this pit of sadness I'm in. It's all like every little thing which has been bothering me has come down on me at once.
First of all, I'm ill. I have had it slightly for a couple of days, but today I slept through all my alarms and the testing for the fire alarm, missed my first lecture, my hearing is wierd, my sinuses blocked, my voice is about gone and all my limbs ache so much I really really don't want to get out of bed.
Secondly, I've found myself between two groups of friends. We're all trainee officer cadets. One group I'm good friends with, and have good banter, but most of them lack tact around awkward or sensitive situations. The second group are largely misunderstood by many in the first group, even though they are the only ones who actually cared about me when a particular piece of news was spread around the rest of the training corps. I had a bit of a heart-to-heart with one of the girls there last night, and I can't help feel that everyone has the wrong idea about her. She's like me, she puts on a face a lot of the time, to stop people pecking at our worst scars.
Also,tom not sure if I mentioned this before, but there's a certain guy I confessed to really liking him. Yeah, well, he basically took me home last week after a very drunken night out (on valentines day, of all things). I am now very pissed off and upset that he took advantage of me , and he never texted me, totally ignored me at the training corps last night (who all know about it and made certain it was mentioned more than a few times in the mess), and seemed to disappear with one of the other girls later when we all went out. Im sure the news will reach me by the weekend if he did. Douchebag.
Urgh. I just feel so horrible. It's good to get all this out, but I still feel kind of dead inside. It's like, so many of my friends don't have the tact and sympathy to talk about this kind of stuff with them, and at the same time, I don't want to bring those that would understand down with me. There is so much about me that even my closest friends don't know. My mask is my security blanket, and sometimes a good friend can peel away some, but what is always covered up is what sometimes makes me feel so alone, even among the best friends I could wish for. I guess in a way, it's why a blog is good for me, even when I don't feel like it.
Dear me, now my eyes are filling up, and I can't even tell if it's my illness or my sadness.
I really want to go out tonight, but if I'm still feeling sad, I'll definitely be staying off the alcohol. I may not be such great "craic" as we say, but it's much better than alcohols tendancy to kick you when you're down.
Sorry for the depressing poem, but it pretty much describes how I'm feeling.

CRYING (written by me)

I cannot cry.
I often want to.
A lump gathers in my throat,
And my eyes sting;
But little water wells
To even wet my eyelashes;
Let alone produce tears.
I hurt inside,
But it rarely shows.
I am stuck in silence,
My emotions supressed
By an invisible wall in my head.

I have always been like this;
So long that many don't know me ever to be sad.
But today was different:

Today I cried